I say my blood is green

Whom do we call different? We call them different from us who do not think, do or perceive like we do.

Is it not better this way that all of are different in some way or the other? How would it be if, we all had same houses, are wearing the same clothes and talking about the same things, all the time?

So when somebody is actually different from the majority of us, why do we make a big deal out of it? Why is that one person made to alter his/her way and do what is socially thought to be correct?

Lets take a woman, who wants to adopt children rather than producing them. Socially not acceptable! Why? The lamest reason, how will the family blood be carried forward. What I don’t understand is, what are they going to do with the blood? It’s not going to reap food to eat! Rather I think it adopting children will put a stop to genetically transferable diseases.

Another reason could be, the married couple will miss out on the beautiful nine months of pregnancy. Well, I personally don’t know how beautiful they would be but if a woman is keen on adopting, she knows what she might miss or maybe she feels fortunate.
A better side can be looked upon. A couple is fortunate enough to adopt and bring up children who are for some reason abandoned. You are adding a reason to your being. And children are the same! They grow up in the way their parents mould them. A woman might have more pleasure in this than a fetus in the belly! How much could it harm? At the most bruise an ego, hear a few unexpected or it may help save you a beggar or a prostitute from making!

The point is, if some acts out of the box lets give them space. It’s like broadening your horizon. It’s like growing up and learning to accept people they way they are.
There are many examples like this one, single parenting could be a major one. There are thousands in are daily lives, thousands that we walk upon…but are crushed self-respects, dreams or paths to others.

Only humans in all living beings due to erect spines have their brains to reason or logic. Thus spiritually are superior beings. Also humans due to superior brain functions have the luxury of science. With all due respect to egos and humility, I suggest that we all take a step away from egoism to humanism, broaden our horizons and shed rigidity.

the false call

The dawn,
Oh! So crimson,
So fresh,
So virgin and so alive.

The dew on the leaves,
New rays,
New energy,
So charged and so positive.

Alas! Why are the birds going back to nest and the cows to their sheds?
Why isn’t the sun rising? I asked.


Oh! Is the crimson turning to twilight?
Crawling are the spiders out,
Howling are the wolves and mares.
Chaotic are the dragonflies,
The moths are drooling at the light.

The moon does not shine tonight
For the clouds are welled all right.
How could I see the dusk as dawn?
Just like I saw the false abode,
Like I heard the false call of hope.

fallen

The birds have flown,
The sun has shone..
The buds have bloomed
And I am doomed.

I asked for help,
I tried to tell.
They turned their back
And I fell.

I tried again.
I fell again..
I shouted and yelled
But they turned again.

Yes I am sane,
And I have this pain
But I fell yet again.

I am marred,
I am scarred,
I lay on the tar,
The burning tar.

The birds have flown,
The sun has shone,
The buds have bloomed
But I am still doomed.

i am selfish

India’s youngest rape suspect charged for raping a 6yr old..
Times of India, 1st page.
This is the kind of news we wake up to, don’t we?

I wake up to a thought of giving up everything. I wake up realizing that this is not how I want to live. What should I do about it? Put it right. What do I do? I contemplate while brushing my teeth and then flush it down, get dressed, guzzle down some milk, run and catch the 6.30 metro so that I can reach the college field to do some physical exercises and study thereafter.

Every evening while finishing dinner I try to summarize the day in the best possible way.
I try to recollect what I learned the whole day, what benefits me. I realize that I am pushed deeper into the shell. I chuck the thought and talk on the phone. With a light head I go to bed.

As usual I went to bed last night. I got no sleep neither was my head as light. I woke up before the blaring alarm had a chance to further unsettle me, only to find our very religious guests praying. I saw them seek fulfillment.

I see everybody chase fulfillment of every kind, aims, hopes and love etc. Senses of fulfillment perhaps bring sleep to them! I seek emptiness.

This noise from the road, the light that blinded me when I put it on and the sight of my bag ready to be dragged along choked me. I went to the balcony to gasp lungful of fresh early morning city air. No relief. I tried to harness my racing mind, I concentrated on the chirping of the birds and thought of the day ahead. Worse.

What do I want? I want silence, the emptiness, the weightlessness of body and thought. I want no feelings to creep in, a null situation. I don’t want to care if the seconds on the clock tick past the time I need to catch the metro. I don’t want to pretend to like what I am doing and I want everybody to around me to accept this. Isn’t that too much ask for? I am too selfish.

The nation is independent. It is democratic. We, the people of India have the freedom of speech, expression and God knows what else. Is the society (refer oxford English dictionary) as democratic, leave alone independent? Who is going to accept what I feel and want, asking for help and support is too much. Am I free?

Do you think I am insane? Well, think again then.
Don’t I ask too much, first your attention to read what I want to say and then understand and accept me the way I am?

I put my pen down and wind myself ready to live a life!
Good day!

Ask Yourself!!

I asked for a small round ice-cream cake with a cherry on to…and I got a 3-tier German chocolate cake with an extra supply of mango soufflé and butter cookies. Now, that’s great, isn’t it? But the point is where is my “small round ice-cream cake with a cherry on top?” is that too much to ask for?
No it is not but maybe someone assumed that if they gave you a “little” extra it would make you happier. But they assumed wrong, dint they? You wanted just one small cake and all the big ones in the world cannot make up for the fact that you didn’t get the one you really wanted!
Things don’t always work out the way you wanted them to. And if the intensity of your desire was strong, then even though you get more than you asked for, you face disappointment. The craving never really stops.
A narrow focus makes us oblivious to all else but the goal in mind, very often blinding us to better options or greater pleasure within our reach. A closed mind doesn’t allow us to enjoy that instead we go hankering what escaped our clutches. And life carries on…a series of regrets and what ifs! How do we avoid the trap? Believe that whatever happens, happens for the best! Or better still, there is someone who has preplanned everything for us! There seems suddenly to be a reason for whatever happens! What are you trying to prove or defy on the other hand? Are you convincing yourself to believe it? Why?

yeh dilli hai, mere yaar!

Yaha ae hue to bohot din ho gaye hai...... But i have not been able to bring myself to summarise what to write about delhi yet.. So finally after a miserly shower of delhi's baarish i begin to feel its my own!
Yeh metro, yeh sadkein....Yeh humid hawa.. ab finally familiar si ho gai hai!
CP mai wimpy's, Janpath mai shopping.... south ex mai barista aur kareem's ke kebab ab lagne lage hai "a part of my life!"
Autowalo se ladna, rikshaws se kood-ke utarna aur "tea-pot" ke chai lectures ke baad, a gaye hai meri "top-favs" mai.
Abhi kar rahi hu ise abruptly khatam,
next time likhungi thora soch ke yaar so that i have more lines to add......!!



NOTE: u must say - "wah-wah, wah-wah!" heheh :D

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Dilemma

One starts with a dream so dreadful,
a marrow chilling dream!
By Seth! It pulled me into it.

The other with the purpose of going back to reality.

One cliff and two falls.
Two ends and two devils.
The reality here and the dream there.

The clouds of dilemma, so grey and ghostly.
A stand on slippery grounds...

I stand to choose....their tears or mine,
entangled in the finest web.
Neck deep in the swamp.

A fix, a jam, a plight,
a stalemate.... how does it matter
what I call it.
How do I decide? My choice or choose what they want to hear?



I explain: I stand here to choose. I'm given a choice to choose between two paths and to decide for myself. I am not sure of my choice because I am not sure enough of my freedom. I thus choose to decide silently.